walking west

tennyson's poem "Ulysses" more and more

rings true for this aged one

always looking for more and more

he talks about the westward flight

towards sunsets and knowledge

so here I sit

olympics in the background

my Penelope on the couch looking golden

the girls out, somewhere

my own girl out, somewhere

a grandson, somewhere

i am in the West 

i was washing around in the Pacific 

just today

after all this

what more knowledge do i need

i am not like Ulysses

the sirens ring tinnitus

scylla shares nightmares

polyphemus promises polyester

those lazy looped eyes of the goddesses

mercury driven wings of whimsy

do not hold me capture

how far did he go, 

back and forth

back and forth

tossed off course

back again

alone,

so alone

in that wine dark sea

I wonder

did he ever catch the sun of flight

and of knowledge

after all of Athena's secrets

after King Helios let sail 

the Phoenician winds

would he have been better

sitting still

meditating

there is something 

to say for home

twenty years yearning

a new kid on the block

he is blond

and when his mother sets him on the sand

he darts towards the gold shore

and stretches his basketball arms towards the blue

the blue is everything

did Ulysses know ahead of time

racing toward home

Penelope would be wearing Dodger Blue

i live in the west - almost as far as you can get

i have a neat tidelog book to look at 

how the waters go from here to there 

with each passing moon

i slumber in the west

i eat in the west

i play in the west

there have been mythical groves of fruit

that for decades americans have

in exodus journeyed from afar

i have tasted the better fruit

with less toil than they

i live about as west as you can get

thinking of those states 

with no coast

i am so unlike Ulysses

This is a pic of my brother and I, probably at Gaviota or Refugio where we used to camp.  The Gav is famous for those strong tradewinds.  Some beautiful hikes, palm trees, sand, camping, but the best thing is the blue water - such dark blue.  In the pic what are we doing?  Early morning walk? Wondering where the surf is?  Is Kerouac's train passing and that's why were looking back?

goin to the beach

let's go, Peneolpe told me, to the beach this morning
it was dark, could barely see Dawn's rosy fingertips
okay, let me make some coffee

so i get up and i start the coffee
morning abolutions
dress
poetry
turn on stereo
pack the boards
wax
suits

and i think,
will we come back
what if this is another twenty years

only this time Penelope is with me
and the gods are less talkative
and i'm not inclined to travel
and i'd have to make sub plans
and our house would grow over
and bills would not get paid
we'd lose our jobs
and no one would really
faithfully wait for our return
people move on
there's no time to mourn
this world travels at god speed
already
and i am not Odysseus anyway

the car is warming up,
steam from the exhaust pipe
like a vampire movie
boards on the rack
we are ready

dawn's rosy limbs
are stretching

we'll be back
in full daylight

Odysseus's tablet

One of Odysseus's men, Eurylochus
brought out his new tablet
and promptly gave Odysseus
the weather prediction
for the next five days

75 degrees, clear
73 degrees, clear
68 degrees, partly cloudy
59 degrees, rain
59 degrees, rain

"We must take advantage
this next couple days of sun,
let us to this new isle
and see what adventure
brings us."

Eurylochus threw his tablet
at the oar,
"Odysseus, I'm tired of all this
adventure.  It always loses us men,
we go hungry, run into monsters."

Odysseus looked at Eurylochus
with consternation, a little tired himself, though,
with admiration, for he wouldn't admit the same
though he felt it,
with slight anger,
for he didn't want to be challenged,
and finally with resolution,
for Odysseus sensed his men's
disquietude.

"Eurylochus," he answered,
"I too am tired of Poseidon's
wrath.  Does your tablet have
Google maps on it?"

Odysseus, in his adventure hardened heart,
if truth be told,
no longer trusted Athena.
Poseidon was too much for him.
Simply put he was tired.  And so
he finally admitted it

"I am so tired of all this.
I am just mere mortal.
mere mortal."

He cried,
his tears godly
in their stream
his tears flooding
the small boat
salt water up to their knees
their belongings drifting in the pool

"Stop your weeping
Odysseus," cried Eurylochus,
"for surely we will sink if you continue."

And again, they lost their boat,
a few more men, while the rest clung
to some piece of lumber
drifting in the white and blue
froth of Poseidon

Somewhere, on that last island,
Athena laughed her goddess laugh,
a small zephyr of sad delight

crossing the bars

and so
the women come
and go
speaking of michael
and of angelo

and the ship is still
a calm psalm
of moses
in the rushes
of rose of sharon
beneath the mooncab

do i dare get up
eat a bowl of cereal

penelope waits
telemechas is down in san diego somewhere

again, it seems like twenty years is so long
and so long ago
and so far away
one of those distant adventures

what happens when you become the myth
of your own mind
of your own body
it was never your mind
and you had the body for a very short time

and again,
the gods and goddesses have the last words

because of them
i am kept in line

good thing

i have my favorite cap i wear
given to me by mythic friend nick kennedy

i will wake up tomorrow
and dawn the cap
and together
nickathena and i
in the sand trap of my mind
will go west
play the old game out again
for it never grows old
this game of youth
so slyly slitherly
so suddenly swift
in the shallows of the surf
surfing the sandbars

the bars
the bars
the bars

call of the sequins

in the dark and loud beat hall
the hundred
images of
boys
looking at themselves
dancing
in their dresses

This is the teenage siren calling

She's just very excited
She doesn't know how
I don't really
I almost used that
Just wiggle the steering wheel
She turns the wheel
That was when we were in the middle of nowhere
Thanks guys
Are you
Yeah, actually
I've done that actually
I learned
I'm so fancy
I have gold nail polish underneath
My gold polish
What's a dishwasher?

the jagged island

Dressed in black
Their chorus
Is Dickensian
With Frenti in the background

These are the sirens
Of a poor boys night at courtesy

Sirens sing your melodies
Loud and sweet

But be kind
We are all not like Odysseus

dawn rises

from the early morning kitchen
dark pink trails reach
out a mist
admist the old oak and
into the light of an apartment
up above

i wait for Deibenkorn's blues
to shock me out of my old dreams
and into my new

why not climb the oak
and peek into the light
and announce

the blue is coming
the blue is coming

or, waiting,
should pack the boards
suits and wax
and head out for the blue

west
where the sun never sets
a forever paddle

we are always woken up
one way or another
out of the blue
and into the blue

my brother once recorded
a musical
named blues's guitar
or was that a poem
i once read
or a painting
i once studied
or a song
i heard

it is lighting up
another blue sky
spread across california
everyone racing
west

Diebenkorn knows blues.

note sent home to parents

please read to your children young

Woman who read